Relationships - Pull Down The Walls

Relationships can seem so difficult. Sometimes it is so hard to understand the one you love but you love them with all of your heart. In relationships you can give yourself totally to the relationship but the other person may not be as committed as you. You never know what the other person is thinking nor do you know if they are sincerely with you for the right reason.

We can have past relationships that have brought us to a place of hurt and pain. Even to this day we may not know why the relationship went spiraling to the ground, but the most important thing we must understand is we must learn to let go of all the hurt when it is over and forgive them and ourselves in our heart and move forward.

We also must seek God to help us to relase the pain and give us peace in our heart. Most of the time when the relationship ends on a sour note, we as women put up walls. We make up our mind that we will never allow ourselves to be in a position like that again to be hurt. So what we don't understand is we have just position ourselves into a place to be bound (in prison) emotionally. We block out any one who flirts, gives us a nice comment, and even those who just want to have a conversation with us as a friend to see who we are and what we are about. When we throw up that many walls, it is hard to get them down because it is safe behind these walls.

Then when you think you are ready to get back into a relationship you wonder why no one is interested. If you really think about it, you have put these walls up which show up in your body language. Your mind says one thing but your body language says stay away, I am not interested, what do you want or I wish I would get with you. These walls are easy to put up but they are hard to pull down. Technically, the enemy has used these walls as strongholds against us and they can only come down through Christ helping us to bring them down.

He brings fear upon us when we someone wants to talk to us. We become so uncomfortable, nervous, and we are confused as to whether we can trust them, and we doubt everything they say or do. We think their motive is for other reason and they are playing games with us. We want to know who else are they talking to because now we have doubt that we are beautiful enough for him to be interested in us. See how the enemy has snared our thoughts. We must break all of these thoughts and feelings of mistrust and come to a place of peach within ourselves.

Love is the only way they will come down. Yes, since love is one of the fruit of the spirit we must regain our territory in this area because we can never find happiness without it. The door (love) that you locked and shut the door on and forgot where you put the key.....only love can open that door up again.

By now, you are scared to be in a relationship. You have forgotten how to be in a relationship. Everytime someone approaches you HURT stands up and says he will hurt you, what is he looking for and you can't embrace friendship.

Once you have asked God to heal you of all of your ill feelings so that you will not allow your emotions from your bad relationship to spill over to the next one. Everyone is not like the last person who hurt you. You have to be ready to allow someone in your life before these things will work.

Let me share 10 steps to help you pull down walls in your heart to go into relationship:

1. First acknowledge to God that you are ready to be in a relationship. He must send this person into your life.

2. Acknowledge to God the person he is sending you is not the type of person you will be willing to accept; so Lord help me to accept who you know is best for me.

3. Open the door of your heart to except who God sends. Do not start searching for him nor looking for him on your own. Really, when he shows up you will not be thinking about it, it will catch you off guard. He has to do it this way because if you knew ahead of time you would blow him off.

4, Know this, when he shows up he is may not look like what you would choose, but this one is not about looks, it about compatibility and being able to walk in unity as one. Everyone you chose it was for the wrong reasons.

5. You will find if God sends him he will treat you like a women, open doors, talk to you and let you know how much he cares bout you. You will not have to wonder because he will make sure you know it.

6. This may make you cry unexpectedly but this is a sign.... the walls are coming down. I don't care how you try to not cry, love touches the sentiment of your heart when it is real.

7. See him as a friend and you are building a friendship with him. Do not jump in your mind to engagement, marriage. You must first be friends and build a relationship in order for it to move to another level. Get to know him, understand what he loves, where his heart is, what makes him who he is so you can understand where you stand in the midst of it all.

8. God builds relationship, he does the connecting of the emotions and the desire to share your life with someone else. Give it time and let it take it course in God's timeframe. He knows how to give you a relationship that will be built on a foundation that will stand.

9. Keep your opinions to yourself about how you think things should be going and go to God in prayer and tell about it. I dare you to share your likes and dislikes and what you would like to see changed and watch God answer your prayers.

10. This is how you keep God first in your relationship, and you won't be firslt and God second; the last one you go to about the relationship after you have messed everything up.

Try these steps the next someone approaches you for a relationship and let me know by email how God works it out for you!